is that you?

i saw this person while i was in Parkson doing the annual Christmas gift shopping.. and well i was cranky and all that, so i was standing watching my mom blabber about which one to give to some little girl i don't even really know and suddenly out of the corner of my eye i saw this person. I'm not sure if that person is THAT person but i wished it was.. I wanted to go up to that person you know to just check if it was THAT person but.. i was and still am scared it was like my feet were glued to the floor i couldn't walk and i couldn't pay attention every single living cell of my body was stuck trying to figure out if that person was THAT person..

It's like everything as in EVERYTHING was in slow motion and like the whole world just for that few minutes has disappeared and it was just me and THAT person. Just us. I thought during that period of our lives that we'll never be apart that we're gonna be together until we're old and crippled you know the usual "grow-old-with-you" but it didn't end up like that and i know for a fact that probably that's for the best.. but there's this part of me that small voice saying "you know you still love him. talk to him come on you can do it!" and then there's the big voice the big boss "NO GIRL! You will NOT do that to yourself! He said he didn't l**e you anymore right? you suffered for quite a while and now look at you you are getting better pleasePLEASEplease don't hurt yourself again?".

i just hope something good will come out of this.

p/s i think i'm still inlove with you.